Lone Stars by Justin Deabler

Author:Justin Deabler
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: St. Martin's Publishing Group

* * *

Sam talked less on the drive back to school. Julian answered with a word here and there, unable to explain the complex lacerations he was inflicting within. When Sam got to Royalwood High, she put the car in park and turned off the ignition. “You’re two hundred fifty dollars richer than you were this morning,” she said. “And third place goes to the citywide finals, too.”

“It wasn’t my speech,” Julian said. “It was my answer. I stuck to the Ten Pillars and that book on the Constitution you gave me.”

“You were the best man up there,” Sam said, stretching her fingers on the steering wheel in exasperation. “I want my favorite student to win. I’ve been talking you up for weeks.” She sighed. “We are the leaders of this movement, Julian. But sometimes, to make the changes you want, you have to give the people what they want. Understand?” She straightened the lapel on his baggy blazer. “You’re a work in progress. I’ll see you next week, before the finals.”

Inside Julian trudged to his locker. When he opened it, a note fell out with a drawing of stars above a forest path, and a message written in extravagant calligraphy—

Greenbelt trail by my house. Midnight. Xoxo B

Julian stuffed the note in his pocket and looked around, confirming no one saw it. His cheeks burned and his temples pounded. He longed to see Ben, and touch him. But the thing inside him that was Ben, them, two boys’ hands brushing on a window frame, there were laws against it to run it out of good homes. There was the day Greg Louganis said he was HIV-positive, and the news kept running the clip from the Olympics when he hit his head and his blood spread in the pool, a crimson monster that had to be cleansed. Julian knew the meaning of that blood. He had a weakness, a defect he couldn’t talk about, because speaking made it real. Was that who he was? Who was he anymore, and what was he supposed to be? Today he was a third-place finisher. And he didn’t like it.

When Julian got home that evening, his mom waited cross-armed in the foyer. He stood in the doorway as she stared. “When were you planning on telling me?” she asked gravely.

“Tell you what?” His body rocketed into high alert.

“Where were you?”

“Debate club.”

“Earlier today, during lunch? Driving off with a woman I don’t know?”

“You mean the chaperone for a school-sponsored club?”

“Why do I have to find out from the principal that you left school?” She threw up her arms. “Who just happened to mention it, thinking I knew.”

“News flash: I’m leaving sooner or later. Sure as hell not staying here.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you’re in a new club? What do you know about these people? These political types, with their philosophies and—”

“Philawsaffy?” he snapped, aping her twang. “What’s yours? Lacy’s Big Philawsaffy. Let’s hear it.” He gestured that the floor was hers. “Please, enlighten me.”

She searched his face.

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